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Thursday, December 8, 2011

‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn' breaks Movie Box Office Records--Author credits her Dreams

In only 12 days, the latest installation of the Twilight saga has grossed $500 million-a new record!

The story idea for this mega-hit sensation bit Stephenie Meyer on the neck…in her dream!

Stephenie Meyer was a stay-at-home mom who dabbled with writing from time to time and was certainly not into vampire stories at all.  However, one night, she had the following dream:

Two people are having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people is just your average girl. The other person is this fantastically beautiful, sparkly vampire. They are discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they are falling in love with each other while B) the vampire is particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and is having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately.

This dream was so vivid that Stephenie began to write what became the mega-hit Twilight. This led to the next book in the Twilight series...then the next...then the next...and the rest is history. To date she has sold over 116 million copies in 50 countries. Can you imagine what would have happened if she had shrugged off her stroke of genius as “just a dream?”

I pray that, at the very least, you are now sold on the fact that your dreams come bearing riches. I also pray that you are inspired to no longer take your dreams lying down, nor leave them on your pillow…but will honor them and carry them across the threshold into your waking life.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

I'll Have What I'm Having!


I was recently interviewed for the second time by the amazing Sage Knight, who writes the "Living Well" column for the Topanga Messenger. Instead of talking "dreams" like we did in the previous article, we spoke about "Human Design." 

Human Design doesn't relate as much to nighttime dreams as it relates to the realm of daytime desires. In Human Design, as you will discover in this article you get a user's manual for yourself...which I have found to be one of my greatest tools that I use both personally and professionally.

I believe that if we can "see" ourselves (the one of a kind creatures we are), its easier to "be" ourselves...and eventually truly LOVE ourselves. Once this occurs, we can start loving the one we're with (which is always ourselves), stop coveting what everyone else has (or seems to has), and instead of always saying "I'll have what she's having," we'll start saying, "I'll have what I'M having!"  

Enjoy Sage's article...Happy reading!

Life is good and you are meant to enjoy it. You are designed to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, fulfilled, on purpose, and also to have a deep understanding of how to relate with others.

Problem is, most people don’t know their innate design. They try to fit in, to do what others tell them will make them happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. But what works for someone else may not work for you; we are all different. The good news is that your blueprint for success is within you and you can access it.

Human Design (HD), a system which combines astrology, the I Ching, the chakra system, and the Kabbalah can give you a “map to the nature of your being.” The system uses your birth place and time to generate a “bodygraph,” a map of energy centers similar to chakras, or the organ centers in Chinese medicine. Each center represents an area of being: the heart center represents willpower, the solar plexus, feeling, etc. 

The centers are each either “defined” or “open” and are either connected to each other or not. These two qualities determine whether you bring a particular energy into a situation or relationship or are more easily influenced by others who do. For example, my throat is defined and is also connected to my mental awareness center, which is also defined. So, I can usually access inspired ideas and express them with ease. Hence, my career as an inspirational writer, speaker and coach. I am designed for what I do. 

It is equally valuable to know what you are not designed to do. This frees up energy for your areas of talent and effectiveness. HD helps with that too. There are five different HD configuration types, and each has a “life strategy” that incorporates that type’s strong points. I am a Projector. By design, the Projector’s “life strategy” is to “wait to be invited.” This explains why I don’t like marketing; Projectors don’t hard sell. We drop hankies, letting folks know we are here. I enjoy selling as long as someone shows up ready to buy and simply needs help with my service, but I don’t like trying to get anyone to buy. Luckily, I don’t have to. I can follow my design and still generate business. And I have.

I received my first editing assignment when a bestselling author recognized my talent and hired me on the spot. I had no idea I was an editor even though I’d been doing it for several years. I’d simply sent her an article and then edited it at her request. I booked another client in a similar way. While meeting with my midwife to get a document signed, I handed her my business card. She said, “You’re a literary midwife? Perfect. I knew I’d meet the editor of my book on this trip, and I knew she would be a former client.” I hadn’t seen her in years and didn’t even know she had a book. She signed and referred a friend. Most of my work comes this way. I drop a hankie. 

Human Design helps with personal relationships as well. I learned that I am the only one in my family with both the heart and solar plexus centers defined and connected. This explained two things: 

First, I am an emotional force of nature — without knowing it. I impact the room, so I can light it up like the sun or bulldoze innocent bystanders, depending on my mood. This can be great for a speaker. For a mom too, as long as I remain mindful of the emotional power I carry and give everyone space when I’m not in happy-camper mode.

Second, the connection between these two centers explains why I look out for everyone in my tribe — and expect them to do the same. To my surprise, not everyone has innate loyalty. Some do, some don’t. It’s not personal. They might not have that connecting line. Those of us who do have it need to clearly communicate our needs, instead of expecting others to know.

Bottom line: everyone is designed uniquely. Like stars fallen to earth, we shine in different colors. You can be who you are. In fact, that is the easiest route to success and joy. You don’t have to do things you’re told should work if they don’t work for you; you can find a way that does. It helps to know your inner design, so you can follow your own “life strategy.”

I want the best skill set available, and Human Design gave me key components. I received my chart and professional interpretation from certified Human Design Analyst Kelly Sullivan Walden whom I highly recommend. She is intuitive, brilliant, and an absolute delight. One of her clients says she is “better than chocolate!” See for yourself. 

Living By Human Design

“SEE Yourself, BE Yourself, LOVE Yourself.” — Kelly Sullivan Walden

The Five Human Design Types:

1. Manifestor — initiates and communicates action.

2. Generator — gets a yes or no by gut feeling; waits to respond.

3. Manifesting Generator — combines above two; must stay open to revising their plan.

4. Projector — waits to be invited.

5. Reflector — all centers “open”; knows self through experiences with others.

To receive your “personal instruction manual for your life,” click HERE

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sage Knight ~ Literary Midwife chats with Kelly

Posted on Sage Knight's blog Tuesday Oct, 4, 2011:


Have you ever wondered why you are here, why you die, or what the next step is on your soul’s journey? You may find answers to these and other questions in your sleep.

According to Carl Jung, human beings are always on the hunt for the next great story. We are storytellers, story listeners. We rearrange our cells and our lives around the story. Our unconscious tales may be the most powerful, because without our conscious understanding or awareness of them, we cannot question the information they present. Dreams are like sleeping stories. When we are unconscious of our dreams, they still inform our lives.

If you are like most people, you spend about a third of your life asleep. What if you could access the wisdom of those hours? What if you could receive the full gifts of your dreams and even dialogue with them for a richer life — both dreaming and awake?

I recently spoke with Kelly Walden, author of I Had the Strangest Dream, the Dreamer’s Dictionary for the 21st Century. Through her work as “Doctor Dream,” Kelly provides insights on how to use dreams as a key to open a door into our soul life.

“Aboriginal cultures believe that dreams connect us to the larger story of why we are here. We’re all familiar with our ‘smaller story,’ the pressing human concerns we deal with daily. However, we each have a larger story as well, a purpose that affects many other souls besides our own. Most people spend their lives concerned with their smaller story (how to pay the bills, etc.).”

Through uncovering the symbolic meanings of your dreams, Kelly can help you discover your larger story. “Being connected to the larger story doesn’t mean you lose the smaller story,” she says.

It’s not an either/or, but a both/and, one more way to live life more holistically, to consciously welcome an aspect of self back into the whole being that is you. “Dreams bypass the maze of the mind and go right into the soul where they can take hold. They have an organizing effect where everything can be transformed around that new picture.”

Kelly speaks about the Senoi, a highly evolved people of Malaysia. They have a powerful way to deal with what we call nightmares. From an early age, Senoi children are taught to overcome their fears by facing whatever villain is opposing them in the dream, and to ask them, “What is your gift for me?” Imagine the impact this has on the child’s waking life. While asleep, these children learn how to transform any fear or stress into a gift for themselves and their tribe.

Some dreams even have the power of physical healing. Kelly shared one such miracle: a dream of dolphins. They swam extraordinarily fast and carried her along in their current. She described the feeling as one of exhilaration and being “in the flow” beyond anything she’d previously imagined. She woke up with blurry vision that continued for several days. Although she repeatedly cleaned her contact lenses, this did not help, so she made an appointment with her eye doctor who discovered that her vision had improved. She needed a lighter prescription. “What are the odds of this happening?” she asked. According to her doctor, about one in a thousand.

It could be a coincidence that Kelly’s sight improved after her dolphin dream, but I don’t think so. Perhaps dolphins, seen by many as advanced and healing souls, were able to reach Kelly only when her waking mind was at bay. Even if it was “all in her mind,” this story demonstrates once again that the mind is powerful — awake or asleep.

Einstein used the term “the dreaming mind,” a more centered state of being giving you access to your intuition, which many people regard as the voice of Spirit, the communication connection between the conscious mind and the divine mind. In Kelly’s words, you cannot even talk about dreams without activating the dreaming mind.

I told Kelly one of my own nightmares, an old recurring dream where my partner and I harbored a dead body in our home. I always woke up feeling incredible remorse and shame, as though we’d killed something in real life. As Kelly and I entered our dreaming minds, we both understood the corpse to be the relationship itself. It had died, but we harbored it in our home, because we had no inner permission to let go. We felt trapped by community projections of us as the “perfect couple;” I saw ending as a failure; even our families could not see us separating. We had a dead body and nowhere to put it.

With Kelly’s expert reframing, I now have a new vision. Together we imagined a funeral, where I celebrated the beautiful parts of the relationship, gently laid the body in the ground, and then covered it with soil. My old partner and I wept tears of real sorrow as we released the body and then planted flowers in the new soil, creating a sanctuary where we can both go on a soul level to safely be with a memory of what once was.

I feel liberated. Though I’d not had this dream for years, it still haunted me. Kelly, my dream angel, helped me transform an old nightmare into a beautiful new memory.

“Dreams are a mystical bridge from the human to the divine.” How many can the dreaming bridge hold? Tune in next month for Dreaming ~ Part II where we’ll explore community dreams with Deena Metzger.

Dreaming — Part I

A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read. — The Talmud

Kelly’s F.E.A.R. formula to transform any “nightmare” into rocket fuel for your soul’s evolution:

F = Face it. Look at the fear. Breathe. Do not run away. Prepare yourself to be surprised…in a good way.

E = Embrace it. Move toward it as if you knew it had a gift, blessing, or miracle to share with you—even though it is wrapped in questionable clothing.

A = Ace it. Overcome the challenge, becoming stronger and more powerful through your Ability to Alchemize the situation.

R = Replace it. Your foe, monster, or challenging creature has now become your ally. Identify it and name what it has been Replaced with and become as a result of your dream alchemy.

Visit Kelly at www.Doctor-Dream.com for more information on private and group sessions. Check out the video where she helps a mom conquer her mountain lion nightmare! And while you’re there, sign up and receive a Free Dream Gift from Doctor Dream.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Blind Spots: Can our Dreams Help Us See What Our Conscious Mind Can’t?


I recently had a dream Robin Williams was a lion tamer on trial for using unconventional methods for keeping his lions in check. He was dressed in Lion Tamer regalia—riding pants, a safari hat, tall black boots, a kaki long sleeved shirt, and a whip. The action of the dream took place in court. The lion tamer was quickly losing the case; the judge and jurors were against him. As a last minute Hail Mary, the lion tamer bolted out of his chair, raised the left hand in the air, his whip pointed toward the heavens, and began chanting at the top of his lungs, “LULLABALLAHABLALALA!!!”


The court was dumfounded, enraptured, hypnotized, and mesmerized. Apparently the same tactic that works with lions works with humans. The spellbound court was now under the lion tamer’s command, and they proclaimed him innocent. The Dream ended with Robin Williams, the unconventional lion tamer, walking out of court with his head held high, smiling, and breathing in his victory and freedom.

***

When I pay attention, my dreams are either a commentary on what took place the night before, or is a preview of coming attractions to prepare me for the day ahead. In this case I believe it was the latter.

The next day I went to see a matinee of Life in a Day with my husband, Dana, and our friend, Ron. The movie brilliantly tells the true story of 6 billion people, in 190 countries, in one 24-hour period. At the movies conclusion, as the credits are running, and tears are running down my face, Ron turns to me and says, “You’re a trip to watch a movie with!”

Perplexed, I tilted my head, crinkled my brow and innocently asked, “What do you mean?”

He guffawed and replied, “You are more vocal than the movie. Next time I’ll just watch you instead! Its like you are part of the action.”

Dana chimed in with an, “I told you so” look on his face. “Kelly, I’ve been telling you, but you don’t listen…and it’s getting worse.”

I apologize to Dana and Ron, feeling hit by a 2x4 across the forehead, “I had no idea.”

“But,” I sheepishly try to defend myself, “Aren’t my sounds natural—what everyone is feeling/thinking/doing—given the circumstances in the movie. I mean, come on, the guy cracks an egg and there’s a live chick inside, and he eats it! Didn’t everyone scream?”

“No,” they shake their heads in unison.


“You mean to tell me I was the only one in the movie theatre making any noise?”


They nod in unison.


The penny drops, the 2x4 strikes again…this time to my gut. I feel dizzy, like I might lose my cookies. For days I’m self-conscious everywhere I go. In every conversation, I’m monitoring my reactivity, my vocal “Ums and Ahs”. What other blind spots do I have that I didn’t know about? Am I a freak that has been roaming the earth for years with two heads, and I’m just finding out about it? I feel like I’m on trial, and I am guilty as charged.

Ooooooo…just the dream from the night before. What might the lion tamer on trial have to do with this blind spot revelation? Hmmmmm.

I breathe—something I hadn’t been doing much of during this credit rolling conversation—feel the slight awe of the beginnings of an aha moment.


Astrologically speaking, I am a Leo (the lion). According to astrologers, I am very Leo-esque (loud, roaring, flamboyant, filling up the space with warmth, holding court.)

I believe every character in our dreams is an aspect of ourselves, which makes Robin Williams, my inner comedian, the tamer of my out of control Leonine wildness by using shock to get my attention.

That same shocking abruptness can silence my inner critic(s) that judged me and might, if left to their own devices, label me as guilty, put me in jail and throw away the key.

Perhaps dream work, itself, is an unconventional method for self-realization (a.k.a. lion taming.)

The feeling of freedom Robin Williams had as he left the courthouse is what I choose fixate on. He overcame condemnation and emerged victorious. Instead of beating myself up, maybe I can choose to feel grateful that the universe and everything within it is, in deed, conspiring on behalf of my (our) greatest good, to get me (us) to wake up.

Carolyn Myss says the purpose of our lives is to become responsible for our power. Most of us have no idea that we are, in fact, powerful, much less have a clue how much power we actually have. We roam the earth feeling disenfranchised, powerless, and small. When in fact we are great beings that are a great deal of directorial input into how our lives can go.

Perhaps, most of our power is hovering in the shadows of our blind spots, and thus is being used unconsciously. Like the dog walking the person, instead of the other way around.

When you take one step toward the Dream Maker, she will take ten steps toward you. Envision a host of supernatural support that is hovering around you, chomping at the bit to lend assistance...yet giving you the respect of choosing their vast support.

We humans are power hungry…always chasing power in one way or another. Ok, you may not think of it as power, but it is. Perhaps the power you chase is in the guise of money, fame, security, health, vitality, youth, or love. What if it was the other way around? What if our power is actually chasing us? What if our power was stalking us through our dreamtime, lurking in our blind spots to be found out and thus integrated into the light of our being?

Ah, there in lies the rub. When a blind spot dares to reveal itself to us, our first reaction is the Cleopatra’s domain: DENIAL:


“Who, me? I couldn’t possibly have been the only one screaming, laughing, and talking to the screen during the movie?”


Or


“Who me? I couldn’t possibly be powerful. I’m just little ‘ol me.”


Next comes our dear friend ANGER:


“How dare you catch me with my hand in the cookie jar! There must be something really wrong with YOU! I’m fine; it’s YOU that has the problem!”


Or


“How dare you accuse me of actually being powerful! Can’t you see I’m the victim of my circumstances????”


The next in line is SHAME:


“Wow, I really must be bad, wrong, and broken to the core. Perhaps I should do everyone a favor and stop taking up precious breath.”


Or


“I can’t believe I’ve lived a power-less life for so long…at my own hands!”


This feels so bad that we think we may be at the end of our rope…so out of self-preservation, we cycle back to DENIAL and try to distract ourselves or numb out and forget the whole thing ever happened. And, thus, our precious power stays neatly tucked in the closet.


This might have happened to me, were it not for my lion tamer dream. As I sit here today, admittedly I still feel a little raw around the space where the blind spot used to reside, but for the most part, I feel grateful for the awareness. I am actually even excited about the opportunity to excavate other blind spots, with the help of my dreams to soften the blow, and help me discover elements of my “power” that have been heretofore hidden.


So, if you see me in the theatre sitting with you the next time you go to the movies, enjoy the film, because I’m going to keep my vocal acrobatics on the inside, where they belong. However…as yet, I can’t promise what will happen outside the movie theatre…so bring your earplugs just in case.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Part II: My Wedding, The Hurt Locker and a Hot, Smart, Talented Blond

Kelly's interpretation of Somer's dream...

Somer, I love your humor and flair for the dramatic…even in your dreams!

First of all, it is perfectly normal to have anxiety dreams about the big “W” day. There are chat rooms overflowing with explosive plotlines like yours that would give Quentin Tarantino nightmares. We can attribute this phenomena to relationship PTSD combined with the fact that as little girls we were spoon fed Disney-esque propaganda disguised as cream puffs about our wedding day. All of this has conspired to lead even the most rational among us to unconsciously believe that our stroll down the aisle is, in fact, the reason we were born. Don’t get me wrong. Choosing the right man to marry is a BIG deal—not a process to sleepwalk through. However, there is a ridiculous amount of self-imposed pressure on we western gals to pick the right mate, create the world’s greatest wedding, and don’t get me started on the hunt for the perfect Vera Wang wedding dress!

My advice to you, Somer dear, is to see your nightmare—as frightening as it is—as your ally. It is clinically proven that nightmares are our subconscious mind’s attempt to heal trauma from the past and avoid unpleasant and life-threatening experiences in our future. But, wait, there’s more! Your frightmare is encoded with the formula you need not just to survive this type of explosive situation, but, to thrive in the domain of relationship. In just the same way that snake venom contains the properties of its anti-venom, the solution to not just have the “killer” wedding, but the “killer” (as in awesome) relationship is smack dab in the center of this scary dream.
Anyhoo, I believe this venting dream is one that can help you (if you allow it) blow your worst wedding/relationship issues to smithereens! Perhaps what is truly being “destroyed” in this dream is your mistrust of your ability to choose a caliber of man worthy of the amazing being that is you. My hunch is that times are radically ch-ch-changing for Ms. Somer Lynn Cooper. In order to transform things efficiently, sometimes we need a bomb to go off. Interestingly, the Chinese character for chaos is the same symbol for opportunity. In other words, you are being ALTERED so that new opportunities may be revealed in your (love) life!

From a Jungian perspective, every character in the dream is you (please don’t shoot the messenger—blame it on Carl Jung, may he rest in peace!) Consider there is a socialite aspect of you that might rather drink and clink stemware in Great Gatsby style than face and embrace any immanent threats to your heart’s well-being. There is the beer-crushing ex—perhaps the lower-self aspect—not present because of a fixation on the past. The insurgent aspect that may represent your inner saboteur. The good news is that the insurgent’s plans of mass destruction are really just a mass distraction…a relatively benign explosion that you survive—and your indoor pool (your beliefs/thoughts/attachments/ideologies regarding all things marriage/wedding/relationship) remains in tact! Ha! Brandon, your fabulous (real) hairdresser-aspect of self, saves the day. He represents the real part of you who sees you, understands you, as he tends to the tendrils of your higher thoughts.

By the way, having your hair done in a dream (even anticipating getting your hair done) represents a new outlook or way of thinking. In fact, in a Blessing Way, a ceremony with Native American roots that prepares a woman for her wedding day, it is traditional to have the woman of honor’s tresses tended to and rearranged. This represents the infusion of new wisdom and the preparation for a new identity to emerge. Hello! That’s what I believe this dream is all about!
Don’t sweat the fact that the chaotic parade of all your past hurts represented by the wedding party wedding marched on obliviously without you, including the Pepto-Dismal—oops I mean Bismol— bridesmaids (and who can’t relate to a little Schadenfreude!) This means that whole nightmare is no longer yours to struggle with!

What I love best about your dream is how proactive you are. You are not a damsel in distress (or in dis dress, as my New Yawk friends would say.) NO! You are the hero (She-ro) that takes matters into her own hands—prevailing against all odds. This tells me you are not just ready, but willing and ABLE to totally transform your past programming and re-create not only your hair, but your relationship to yourself, and to the whole concept of marriage. Eligible bachelors of the world be warned!
Let your dream’s final words lead you into peaceful slumber tonight:
 I exhale. I take rescue that at least someone will understand me.
With wisdom like that, you may never need a nerve pill again!
Sweet dreams,
Kelly
Doctor Dream

Part I: My Wedding, The Hurt Locker and a Hot, Smart, Talented Blond

I’m starting down the aisle, white gown, father in tow, wedding party perfectly poised, and I look up to see my soon to be husband only to realize, he’s one of my ex’s. I start backing up. Hoping no one takes notice that I’m opting out of the invitation. I start sweating. I can’t breathe.  I’m telling my father that there’s been a horrible mistake and I don’t know how I got here. That I wanted so much more in my life and that I never, never, ever wanted to be that girl who settled. This is when I wake up. Gasping for air. Reaching for a nerve pill.

For the last ten years this has been one of my night torments.

My reoccurring nightmare has taken a new turn. Thanks to the movie, The Hurt Locker. For which I knew I should have taken a nerve pill after watching in order to ensure a descent night’s rest.
You are asking yourself why I would sit through two hours of a film that would induce anxiety. Fair question. I dig good art. My late-to-the-party plug for Kathryn Bigelow and the team that created The Hurt Locker is that this was a remarkable piece of art. It will go down as one of my top-ten, zeitgeist movies surrounding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Heart wrenching. Poignant. Telling. It is well worth the anxiety.
And the suicide bomber that ruined my wedding in my dream that night.
The dream went like this…
I’m in the Middle East about to be wed in an Islamic style building. I am dressed and ready when I realize that there is a complete lack of organization. Everyone, in an unruly fashion, is enjoying a pre-wedding cocktail party. Breaking all tradition I set out donned in my white gown to find my groom and my wedding party and to instill order.
For which I receive intell that an insurgent as entered my wedding.
The insurgent  just so happened to be masked as my on-site hairdresser. Nevermind that I’m pissed at my own hairdresser for being unwilling to do my hair on “my big day.” And terrified that the insurgent is about to blow us all to the likes of confetti.
In truth (and breaking from my dream) my hairdresser, Brandon, is one of my best friends. And vows to me that he has a poor track record of wedding-to-divorce ratio and will not do my hair on my wedding day. I’ve told him that he is entirely too much of a diva to let another man touch my locks. He rolls his eyes when I tell him this and sighs in agreement. I digress. It takes serious muscle to blow this hair straight.
I now have this intel that an insurgent is at the wedding meanwhile my groom and wedding party are fully disorganized. Racing about in full panic I finally stumble upon the man I’m about to wed. I find him, tux askew, crushing beer cans on his head, laughing with his groomsmen and reminiscing about his college days. Never mind that he is fat and sweaty.
I look at him and think, Am I really about to marry that? I don’t bother with reason. I continue to try and find my bridesmaids. They are all scattered about. Cheersing it up with the guests of the wedding as though we’re in a scene from The Great Gatsby. Meanwhile they are in awful bridesmaid dresses. A Pepto Bismol colored pink. For a moment, I lose track of my mission to communicate to everyone that an insurgent is in the building. Instead I take pause. I take pause that all of my bridesmaids in my wedding had me in theirs for which I was succumbed to buying wedding dresses. Oh, they look perfectly awful in that color pink that I chose. Schadenfreude if you will.
In truth (and breaking from my dream), I will be making my tenth guest appearance in a wedding this November. Yep, tenth. But, I’m not bitter. Promise. I digress. The wedding count doesn't include when I married the City of Durham at "Marry Durham" this past Spring.
I’m now frantic. Yelling that someone needs to listen to me because an insurgent has entered the building and we are all doomed. No one pays me any mind. They all, in full F. Scott Fitzgerald style, continue clinking their stemware. Heads thrown back in laughter. Paying no mind to the bride. To me.
I start sweating. Through my white gown. Becoming even more irritated (because who plans so in advance that they put their wedding gown on hours before the ceremony.) My gown is now being ruined (as though the insurgent, the beer-can crushing groom, and pink dresses were not enough.) The scene is chaotic and with no one listening. I take matters into my own hands. I’ll take out the insurgent.
Off in search of him I go. Only to find myself in a part of the building that has an indoor pool. The kind that you would find at an Hampton Inn hotel in a town that hosts conferences and meetings. Where the smell of chlorine permeates the air.
That’s when I spotted him. The hairdresser. The insurgent. I knew it was him because who wears nothing else but a guitar slung around his waist covering his junk and decides to strum it while he wades into the shallow end of the pool. The guitar that is. I knew that he was about to blow. And sure enough the bomb was hidden in is guitar. Within minutes the damn thing went off. The bomb that is. And by some reason for which my Freudian mind only knows… I survived.
I was right. I knew there had been a suicide bomber in the mix. With a total sense of urgency, I race to announce to the wedding party that indeed… I was right. And maybe there are more to follow. Insurgents, that is. And we should all evacuate the scene. To which I hear music. And realize that the processional has started. The wedding has started without me. My Pepto Biz bridesmaids and my drunken fat, sweaty, beer-crushing, soon-to-be husband, have started without me. The wedding has started without me. I’m sweating. My make-up is running. My hair is frizzing. I stand for a minute in debate as to whether I show up for “my big day” or not. I wonder if the show can somehow go on without me. Then I remember that my hair can be saved. At least I have Brandon, my BFF hairdresser, who is still set to show up for my wedding. Brandon, at the very least, will be able to save my locks. Calm the frizz. Pull me back together. I exhale. I take rescue that at least someone will understand me. My hair. And the naked, guitar strumming, suicide bomber that just exploded in the indoor pool.  
And then I wake up. And reach for a nerve pill. After this maniacal dream, I did what any self-respecting person who has ever lived in Los Angeles would do. I called my hot, smart, talented friend, Kelly Sullivan Walden, who happens to be a dream expert.

I mean, honestly, who doesn't want to tell their dreams to that face?
I recounted the dream. She kindly agreed to interpret. Let’s all be nervous about the results. Check in for Part II in the next post.
In the meantime, cue up Hurt Locker to your Netflix. And invest in nerve pills. Maybe stay clear of indoor, hotel pools. And at the very least, find a really good hairdresser.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

What Dreams, Oprah, Money, & Our Indigenous Ancestors Have In Common

Have you dreamed about losing your purse, credit card, or wallet lately?  According to FOX Business many people are having these dreams. As I say often, "Our dreams are our allies." Wouldn't you rather dream of losing your wallet and wake up feeling relieved that it was only a dream, than to have to process that nightmare in real life? I would.

I just overheard an interview with Oprah Winfrey where she adamantly says the exact opposite. She said she would rather work her drama in real life so that she can have a pleasant night's rest.
Actually, our indigenous grandmothers and grandfathers would probably agree with the former queen of daytime. Many dreaming tribes believed the purpose of our activities in our waking lives were to assist us in becoming strong dreamers.  For example, if there was a conflict, they would work it out before sleeping on it (if possible); they wouldn't eat a heavy meal before bedtime because it would interfere with the dreamtime; and they would work hard enough during the day to be able to enjoy their rest.  If they overworked or underworked that would have an adverse affect on their dreaming.

I, personally, take a both/and perspective. Why not work out the drama head on wherever and however it comes in. I do my darndest (I say darndest when I feel the nearness of my beloved Grandpa Bishop--Hi Grandpa!) to look for the gift whenever there is a challenge. And I mostly find the blessing rather quickly...which accounts for a relative peacefullness by day and by night.

Here's a sneak preview of my recent interview with FOX Business.com...I hope it gives you a bit of insight about your $$$ related dreams:


If your dreams include losing your credit card, falling and never hitting bottom or getting lost in a forest, experts say these nocturnal adventures may actually be a window into your financial stability, future and decision making.


Kelly Sullivan Walden, a hypno therapist, dream coach and author of "I Had the Strangest Dream ... the Dreamer's Dictionary for the 21stCentury," says the increased financial strain of the past few years have led to an increase of money-related dreams.


When two worlds collide

Walden says since money is a very real and central aspect of your life, it's no wonder you dream about having it, getting it, losing it or hoarding it.

"This may be a reflection of what is literally playing out in your real life. Or, because dreams are clever, it could be an indicator of something a little less obvious," says Walden.

Read more: http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2011/04/21/money-problems-dreams/

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The 5 Most Common Dreams of Women in Committed Relationships

For most of us women, relationships take up the lion's share of our lives, so it would stand to reason that our conscious, as well as our subconscious, minds are absorbed with relationship thoughts, strategies, tools to hook him, understand him -- sometimes even make him over.

Most of our nocturnal sojourns are a constant stream of subtle (or blatant as a foghorn) clues to navigate the sea of love in the most opportune way. The following are the five most common dreams among committed women and how they might assist you in making your relationship more sea-worthy:

Driving in a Car Together
What it means: Time to make plans for the next leg of your journey.
Driving in a car in a dream represents your body, your identity, as well as the status of your relationship. If you are driving, then you've got the "drive" to take the wheel of your relationship's direction. Basically, you are the Alpha -- in control. However, if your partner is driving the car (even though you know you are capable), you are letting him be the "man with the plan" -- allowing him to be in charge. This dream may be telling you it's time to consult your relationship's GPS and make sure you are aligned on your plans for the future.

Sharing a Meal Together
What it means: Feed your relationship the nutrients it hungers for (time, attention, romance ... sex?)
Dreams of food represent nourishment and influence, making it the perfect metaphor for what you are "feeding" your relationship. You may be hungering for a certain type of nurturing and affection in your relationship. If you are the one dishing it out on a silver platter, you're the one giving the TLC. If you are eating the food, you are receiving the nourishment, energy, stimulation, and/or praise. If you both enjoy the meal you are sharing in your dream, then you have a recipe for success (i.e., the two of you are "ingesting" shared values, customs and belief systems).

Overcoming Obstacles Together
What it means: Don't give up!
If you dream of being Indiana Jones & Joanne in your dreams, ducking beneath tidal waves, side-stepping earthquakes, parachuting to safety through an avalanche, then you've probably been going through a major troubling period together. If you make it through the drama together in your dream, then your relationship is strong in good weather and in foul. Your dream may be forecasting that once you emerge victorious from your current drama you will soon reap the benefits of your ability to unite through difficult times, making your bond unbreakable. Some of the best relationships are forged in the heat of life's greatest challenges.

Playing the Field
What it means: Time to take the monotony out of monogamy
Don't be alarmed -- it doesn't mean what you think. Dreams of SWOP (sex with other people) symbolize your desire, creativity and passion. (Aren't you relieved?) Consider that these dreams might be helping you to express your unsatisfied or secret physical attractions, longings and desires -- in a completely "safe" arena where no one gets hurt! Dreams of intercourse also represent connection, acceptance, affinity, love and the embracing and melding of the qualities of the person or people involved in the act. So, if you dream of having sex with, say, Jeffery Dean Morgan, you are reaching out and touching (figuratively speaking) an idyllic masculine (i.e., strong, capable, heroic) aspect of yourself. The same holds true if your beloved is gallivanting around town (in his dreams) with Kim Kardashian.

Getting Married
What it means: Preview of coming attractions
Dreams of marriage represent integration and the embrace of opposites, as well as a possible rehearsal for your actual big day! Your subconscious mind may be helping you to prepare for this potential life-altering event, or it could be prepping for a deeper level of commitment.

If you dream of marrying or of being married to an ex, it may simply mean that you are realizing your profound connection to a cherished part of YOU that was prominent back then. Also, you may be highlighting the wisdom you earned and learned from your past intimate entanglements.

Dream Interpretation -- a Roller Coaster Ride Through College

Dear Kelly,

I have dreams that I am in college and I get in the elevator and it moves around like a roller coaster. Not just up and down, but sideways and on a track in all directions. What does that mean?

Thanks,
Dara Turetsky-Blaker

Kelly says:

Dear Dara,

In my experience, dreams of college represent that you are learning, growing and developing a "degree" of mastery and authority in your life. The fact that you dream of getting into an elevator at school symbolizes that you are elevating rapidly within the realm of your core life lessons, and perhaps desiring to move up in the world as well.

My hunch about you is that you are seeking the fast track to success. However, because you dream your elevator is more like a roller coaster, instead of gaining success in a linear fashion, moving from point A to point B, you are going up, down, and side-to-side. Perhaps your dream is showing you that in order to attain your next level of growth and success, you need to gain mastery of the buttons and levers of your life (i.e., your goals, desires, and intentions). Become mindful of tumultuous emotions, mood swings, distractions, and/or anything that could hook your attention and move you off-track from where you truly want to go.

Alternatively, your dreams may be showing you to let go of your attachment to the way success is supposed to look, and with your adventurous spirit in tow put your hands in the air, toss out the map, and enjoy the ride of your life.

What Your Bad Dreams Really Mean -- A Dream Doctor Decodes Them!

Dear Kelly,

I had a strange dream I was on the Titanic! I was wearing a beautiful dark blue dress and was walking hand and hand with a handsome man I'd just met. We were kissing and talking about kids and marriage. I can remember every detail...it was a dark, beautiful night, and the stars lit up the sky. He told me his name was Paul, he pulled me close, and I laid my head on his shoulder. I was happy beyond comprehension.

Just then the Titanic hit something (an iceberg?) and we both fell on the floor. I was frightened until Paul reassured me everything would be all right, and then he disappeared before my eyes! Everything went black and I woke up feeling startled, heartbroken, and in a cold sweat.

The strangest thing is I remember having a similar Titanic nightmare like this last year. What does this dream mean and why do these bad dreams keep happening to me? I've never hurt anyone and I'm a good person. I spend my days focused on helping people and only doing positive things, so why me? What did I do to deserve these bad dreams?

Help!

Heartbroken on the Titanic

Dear Heartbroken,


Your timing is very synchronistic. Just today I was talking with my friend's son who was researching the Titanic for a school project! He asked, "I wonder what those people must have felt as the boat hit the iceberg?" Don't you love synchronicities?

First of all I'd put your dreams in the "venting dream" category whereby your subconscious mind is helping you to flush away your fears and doubts about your love boat sailing into the shores of your heart.

Nightmares (venting dreams) happen to everyone...even the best people on the planet. I'd bet a million bucks Mother Theresa had plenty of them! Consider you may be dreaming (venting) out drama for other people in your life with whom you are psychically connected. Think of it as doing laundry for a clueless friend.

You can, however, stop the spin cycle of your recurring dream. You can do this by practicing the art of IRT (Imagery Rehearsal Therapy), a process by which you:

A.) Re-envision your dream in the waking state.
B.) Imagine redirecting your dream to unfold in a way you would have preferred (i.e. you and Paul land safely on dry land, get married, have babies, grow old together, and walk hand and hand into the sunset after a full and happy life together).
C.) Repeat several times until the nightmare literally becomes a sweet dream.

For example, my niece Noel had recurring dreams of being chased by a vampire. She re- envisioned the dream and asked the vampire why it was chasing her. The vampire (in her newly imagined dream) told her he was lonely and needed a friend...at which point Noel put her arms around the pathetic blood-sucker and told him she would be his friend...from a distance. He agreed...and she hasn't had another dreamtime visitation from him since.

Back to your dream... I would suggest you open to the possibility of the Titanic getting hit as a sign for all your relationship baggage from the past going down (not your hopes and dreams). If a venting dream is allowed to do its job properly (without you continuing to recycle the pain) then you are left with a clean deck to create and "dream" up what you truly desire.

If I were you I would take heart in remembering Paul told you "Everything would be alright", which might be code for, "...even though this particular ship (burdened by all your past baggage) is going down, we are connected and as Celine Dion sang (and I paraphrase) 'Our hearts will go on'."

Thank you for sharing your dream with me...may there be sweet sailing tonight!

Kelly

Friday, April 29, 2011

10 Most Popular 21st-Century Dream Symbols -- And What They Mean

In our fast-paced world of globalization, double half-caff-low-cal-no-whip-soy mochachinos, news alerts, tweets and turbo-speed Internet access, our dreams are working overtime to keep us sane.

Our unedited, unscripted, unrated, uncensored, graphic, high-speed, high-tech, sometimes-violent and XXX dreams toss out the G-rated niceties of our public persona. In our nighttime dream theater, our small voice of intuition and authenticity gets a bullhorn and runs the show without constraints.

Dancing wildly in the grey matter of today's dreamer are such symbols as: blog, life coach, laptop, Twitter, terrorist, eBay, Tivo and Starbucks. Instead of a horse and carriage, a modern dreamer might dream of a fuel-efficient hybrid car zipping past gridlock traffic in a HOV lane. Instead of penning a letter with a quill, you might dream of sitting in an Internet cafe emailing a friend. Instead of surfing the ocean blue, you might dream of surfing the Web and meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right on Match.com. Understanding the symbolism behind these 21st-century words will help you keep up with your dreams that are trying desperately to keep up with you!

After the jump, the top 10 dream symbols today's dreamer dreams about most -- explained.

10. Spam
Dreams about spam signify a lack of boundaries and that you are being inundated with energy that you don't want from people that you don't enjoy. If this is the case, then your dream is giving you permission to set clear boundaries with people in your life. If you dream of being the one sending the spam, then this could be a message for you to reestablish integrity in your communication and be more respectful of other people's boundaries.

9. Oprah
A dream about Oprah Winfrey represents altruism, inspiration, and that you are exalting your gifts for the benefit of all. Synonymous with Oprah is "Remember your spirit"; becoming all that you can be, materially, physically, and spiritually.

8. IVF
Dreams of In Vitro fertilization represents that you are asserting your will in the creation of a baby, project, or relationship. You are not taking "No" for an answer with regards to the obstacles and challenges you face in creating and fulfilling your desires.

7. iTunes/iPod
Because music represents a medium that greatly influences feelings, moods, attitudes and thoughts, dreams of an I-pod represent that your ability to have mastery and control of your emotions, moods and thoughts is in the palm of your hand.

6. Match.com
Dreams about match.com (or any Internet dating website) represent your desire to meet someone special and to expand your circle of possibilities. This dream also signifies your awareness that you are connected to a much larger playing field than your normal day to day reality. You are looking for love, feeling lucky, and hopeful that love is on the way.

5. eBay
Dreams about shopping or selling on E-Bay represent your connection with the world and with unlimited opportunity. Pay attention to the feeling tone of this dream to see whether it is telling you to monitor your shopping, or to prepare for a great opportunity. Consider what you are shopping for, what you are selling, and/or if retail therapy is really going to fix you.

4. Hybrid Car
Dreams about a fuel efficient car represent a desire to conserve energy, and are an indication that you are globally aware, mature, responsible, conscious, and mindful of natural resources, namely your natural resources (time and money).

3. Email/Internet
Dreams about e-mail represent communication and a desire to reach out and touch someone. E-mail can also represent a kind of aloof intimacy and/or unwanted communication. Dreams of the internet represent having the world at your fingertips, and your connectivity to everything, everyone, all the time; a net in which all solutions you seek are caught.

2. Text Message / IM
Dreams of a text message signify a desire to connect and to stay in touch with someone from afar. You have a desire to get to the point, clarity, and to spell out what it is you want to communicate.

1. Cell Phone (iPhone, Blackberry)
Dreams of a cell phone represent telepathic communication. Significant aspects of this dream are the person you are calling, and/or who is calling you, whether or not you are able to reach him or her, and the status of your connection (four bars, three, two or one, or none). What you say or what is being said is of utmost importance.

'Dream Clubs' Are the New Book Clubs -- Only Men Attend, Too

Forget golfing, sailing or Match.com. According to The New York Times, 32-year-old Lily Michaud, of Portland, Oreg., met her husband in a "dream club."

Yes, as in a gathering at which people meet to dissect their dreams.

"I learned about my friends' lives at a depth you don't often get in casual conversation," Michaud, a registered nurse and photographer, told the paper. "It wasn't as though I was getting more personal details, so much as understanding the complexity of their emotional reactions to life events."

It only got awkward, she said, "when someone dreamed about someone else in the club." We bet.

It seems dream clubs are popping up all over Craigslist and Meetup, from Iowa to L.A. Most are co-ed, and they're often led by a therapist, shaman or dream coach. Some participants say diving deep into their dreams with a room full of near strangers is the perfect antidote to friendship in the age of the status update. And some groups actually engage in dreamwork, which looks a lot like building dioramas of your nocturnal dramas.

In the interim, food is served. Which is the only reason we can dream up for straight guys being there to begin with.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Can Your Dreams Make You Rich? They Did for the 'Twilight' Creator

In his mega-bestselling book, "Think & Grow Rich" Napoleon Hill interviewed and researched over 500 of the most successful people in history to determine what common attributes they shared that allowed them to create such prosperity and purpose-driven lives. Can you guess one attribute they all had in common?

They all had highly attuned intuition (aka, the ability to tap into their gut feelings and act on their inner-guidance).

Can you guess one of the best-kept secrets to building your intuition muscles?

Dream Recall
In these economic times we can no longer rely on external structures: the stock market, and banking systems are crumbling, the automotive industry and housing markets are falling apart.

When all else fails, turn within.

People claim they can't afford the time to pay attention to their dreams...I say you can't afford not to. What if the goldmine you have been praying for is not in your backyard, but under your pillow?

Stephenie Meyer was a stay-at-home mom who dabbled with writing from time to time -- and was certainly not into vampire stories at all. However, one night, she had a dream about a benevolent and hot (as in handsome) vampire who was captivated by the scent of an average girl. This dream was so vivid that Stephenie began to write what became the mega-hit, Twilight. This led to the next in the Twilight series...then the next...then the next...and the rest is her-story. Can you imagine what would have happened if she had shrugged it off as "just a dream?"

Is this phenomenon relegated to just a select few people in this world with especially good karma?

Absolutely not!


I believe it is special when a person has this kind of dream -- but not unusual. It happens from time to time to everyone...even for those whose karma is questionable. After the jump, a few great examples of dreams from ordinary folks (and a few superstars) that made them wealthy, healthy, or famous...

Thomas Jefferson's writing the Declaration of Independence:
Some historians, including author Robert Moss, attribute the writing of the Declaration of Independence and the philosophy contained within to the descriptive nighttime dreams of both Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. Dr. Benjamin Rush, the physician attending both ex-presidents, during the eleven years of their estranged friendship (due to irreconcilable political differences) acted as a dream bridge between the two. By the way, as you can imagine, this was quite unusual (and even scandalous) for men of power at this time to openly discuss such metaphysical ideologies.

History's biggest oil discovery: In September 1937 the Kuwait Oil Company was unsuccessfully drilling in Bahra...until one night, Colonel Harold Dickson dreamed of a beautiful woman buried in an underground tomb. In his dream the Colonel rescued the damsel in distress, fed her and gave her warm clothes. To repay his kindness she led her hero to an ancient sidr tree, growing alone in the desert. Upon awakening, Colonel Dickson discovered the exact location of this particular tree and shared it with the Sheikh of Kuwait who redirected drilling operations to the area near the lonely tree. Within a few months the Kuwait Oil Company hit on what became the one of the richest oil discoveries in history.

The Invention of the Sewing Machine: In his waking life, inventor, Elias Howe, was struggling to figure out how to make a needle cut through a piece of cloth on the sewing machine he was creating. He decided to "sleep on it" and his dream came to the rescue, "I was taken prisoner by a group of natives. They were dancing around with spears. As they were moving around me, I noticed their spears all had holes near their tips." Even though he was frightened when he awoke, he realized that by placing a hole at the tip of the needle, the thread could be caught after pushing through the cloth. Eurika! He changed his design to incorporate the dream idea and found it worked! This is one dream for which my grandmother is particularly grateful (and for those of us who don't live in a nudist colony).

Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein": During the rainy summer of 1816, at the ripe old age of 18, Mary Shelley dreamed of "...a pale student of unhallowed arts kneeling beside the thing he had put together. I saw the hideous phantasm of a man stretched out, and then, on the working of some powerful engine, show signs of life, and stir with an uneasy, half vital motion. Frightful must it be; for SUPREMELY frightful would be the effect of any human endeavor to mock the stupendous mechanism of the Creator of the world." With the urgings of Lord Byron, Mary Shelley wrote her Frankenstein nightmare down and expanded it into what is now considered a landmark work of Science Fiction, Romantic and Gothic literature.

Otto Loewi's Nobel Prize: Elias Howe's invention of the sewing machine: Dr. Otto Loewi's dream took place in a laboratory. There were two frog hearts placed apart from one another, the first with its nerves, the second without. In his dream he had the hunch it was not the nerves that influenced the heart directly...but the chemical substance being transmitted between the nerves. Upon awakening Dr. Loewi conducted an experiment proving the theory of chemical transmission (later identified as acetylcholine) of the nerve impulse. In 1936, Dr Loewi was awarded the Nobel Prize for his discovery.

Jack Nicklaus's golf swing: Golf legend, Jack Nicklaus, attributes his success in part to a dream he had in which he was gripping a golf club differently than he normally did. In real life he'd been having trouble collapsing his right arm and taking the club head away from the ball. However, in his dream, with this new grip, he was swinging perfectly. When he practiced his "dream grip" in real life it worked. "I feel kind of foolish admitting it," said Nicklaus, "but it really happened in a dream."

Paul McCartney's "Yesterday": The song "Yesterday" serenaded its way into Sir Paul McCartney's dream. McCartney was snoozing in his parent's home in London during the 1965 filming of the Beatle's Help! "I woke up with a lovely tune in my head. There was an upright piano next to me. I got out of bed, sat at the piano, found G, found F sharp minor 7th -- and that leads you through then to B to E minor, and finally back to E. It all leads forward logically. I thought, 'No, I've never written anything like this before.' But I had the tune, which was the most magic thing!" Exclaimed McCartney. According to the Guinness Book of Records, "Yesterday" (1965) has the most cover versions of any song ever written and, according to Broadcast Music Inc (BMI), was performed over seven million times in the 20th century.

James Cameron's "Avatar": One morning, in 1995, award winning film director James Cameron awoke breathless from an epic dream whereby he had visited a land called, "Pandora". In this rainforest-like dreamscape the people were an enlightened hybrid of aliens and humans, speaking a language that was foreign, yet understandable to him. Luckily for James Cameron (and Avatar fans worldwide) he respected his dream world and took copious notes. Ten years and several technological quantum leaps later, Cameron's dusty dream notes served as a travelogue for the entire production...a world that Cameron had already visited. "Avatar", released during the '09 Holiday season, with a $250 million dollar budget (the biggest movie budget in movie making history), has grossed over 1.686 billion dollars, and counting.

Worm Interupted: My husband dreamed about a worm being pulled out of his forehead. A few days later he went to the dermatologist who immediately was able to extract a rare "worm like" form of skin cancer-just in the nick of time.

If you are still not sold on the fact that your dreams can catapult your life to riches, stardom, and/or your greatest contribution to humanity (or at least a bit of guidance as to what outfit to wear on your date tomorrow night)...then consider this to be your wake up call. Perhaps tonight will be the night when you stop taking your dreams lying down!

Perhaps the dream you have tonight will be your breakthrough to solve your problems, catapult you to stardom or lead you to your very own gold mine.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ka-Ching! What Dreams About Money Really Mean

"Money dreams" symbolize issues of energy, power, survival and resourcefulness. Even if you are Paris Hilton (don't worry, neither am I), money is an issue you have to deal with in a very real way in your life whether you're awake or asleep.

Be honest: Have you ever tossed and turned at night over an overdue debt, jolted awake in a cold sweat dreaming of a lost purse ... or awoken with a smile because you dreamed of an unexpected windfall? OK, the latter isn't as popular a dream as the first two, but I would assert we've all had a financial "win" dream ... even if we left it in dreamland and forgot to deposit it in our long-term memory bank.

In most money dreams, you're either chasing it, losing it, spending it, finding it, fighting for it, hiding it or reveling in it. You don't have to be Carl Jung (the psychologist who, in my opinion, surpassed Sigmund Freud as the godfather of dream interpretation) to realize these dreams are a reflection of our real life fears, struggles, attitudes and beliefs about the mighty green.

More than just revealing our dysfunctional fears and phobias about money, these dreams are our friends because, if we look closely, they give us hints and clues as to how to discover our own path to gold. For example, in 1937 Colonel Harold Dickson's nighttime dream revealed the clues that led him to his first major oil discovery (which later became the Kuwait Oil Company). More modern examples resulted in the goldmines known as "Avatar," "Twilight" and Monster.com.

Below are a few snapshots of money dreams recently sent to me from non–Paris Hilton types. Maybe they'll trigger your own memory bank:

"In my dream I'm carting about a wheelbarrow filled with money, and no matter how carefully I walk, the money keeps falling out."

You're thinking way too small, being way too controlling ... and it's not working!

I believe this dream is telling you that the way you are going about making/getting/earning money is antiquated, unstable and out of balance, not to mention stressful! My advice is to embrace 21st-century financial options, and perhaps invest in a more modern "vehicle" by which you allow money to move in and through your life.

"I'm at a grocery store at the register ready to check out. I search for my credit card in my purse and it's missing!"

Stop checking out!

Your dream may be telling you to be more aware of mindless spending. A "credit" card may also be symbolic of giving credit where it is due. Where do you discredit yourself, and where are you withholding deserved praise? Stop sleepwalking regarding your financial affairs. Be more conscious, aware and awake when it comes to the checks and balances of your energy and keep in mind what you appreciate appreciates.

"I'm on a shopping spree and I feel like Queen Midas. Everything I find fits and looks great on me ... and is in my favorite colors. It's amazing!"

You are at a choice!

You're shopping for the things in life that energetically fit you to a tee -- identifying what you want to spend your time and energy on (relationships, investments, belief systems you've been buying into). This is considered a wish-fulfillment dream. Sometimes these dreams play during times when we are living in the "lack shack" consciousness, in order to move you (energetically) toward the consciousness of your "mansion of expansion."

"I just bought my dream car, and I'm feeling ecstatic as I cruise down the highway having a great time."

You're in the driver's seat of your life ... and you're going places!

Consult your internal GPS to become clear about where you want to go, why you want to go there, and the best way of arriving joyously at your destination. You clearly have the drive to take you there. Identify your "vehicle" (project, relationship, or opportunity), make sure it is aligned with your life's direction, then get into gear to accelerate its manifestation.

'I open my purse and discover it's filled with cash. I hear myself say, "I must have won the lottery!"'

Ka-ching!

Winning the lottery or coming into a windfall is another wish-fulfillment dream. Your subconscious mind cannot discern between actual events and that which is vividly imagined, so your wish-fulfillment dreams create an energetic map that can lead you from where you are to where you would like to be. Just as people who are wealthy attract more wealth and happy people attract more circumstances to themselves that make them happy, allow this heightened state to make you magnetic to the "real life" fulfillment of your desires. Let this dream be good luck regarding your health, wealth and/or relationships -- a message that you are on track. And if you actually saw lottery numbers in your dream, by all means write them down and give them a spin (or at the very least, give them to me). This won't be the first time someone dreamed of winning lottery numbers!

Let Me Sleep On It: How Dreams Can Help Your Problems Disappear

It doesn't seem so strange that most artists I know are avid dreamers. Perhaps by virtue of their profession (and ability to wake up leisurely in the afternoon without the blaring sounds of an alarm) they have a natural respect for dreams. However, it is the logical people in my life -- the math professors, accountants, lawyers, and suit-and-tie wearing professionals who get up at the crack of dawn with an earth-shattering alarm who don't seem to recall their dreams, nor do they seem to put much stock in them.

But we all dream, and we all have problems. In fact, one way of looking at life is that it is a constant stream of problems to solve (or, for the Pollyannas of the world, we call them "opportunities"). And don't we all want to be better problem solvers? Wouldn't being an expert problem solver make even the most logic-based among us more peaceful and productive?

In my many TV and radio interviews I proselytize the value of dreaming and dream recall because I know from my personal experience, and from a decade and a half of working with clients, that dream recall improves people's lives. However, it is always exciting to me when a new study, much less one from Harvard, comes out to scientifically underscore what I've been evangelizing for years.

In a recent Harvard study researchers determined that one of the many functions of dreams is to problem solve. In this study volunteers practiced moving through a difficult three-dimensional maze in their waking state. Because of the difficulty of the maze, all the participants in this study performed poorly.

After working on the maze for a period of time, half the volunteers took a ninety-minute nap, while the other half stayed awake. Upon awakening, the participants who had a chance to sleep were asked to share their dreams. Half of the nappers recalled their dreams (all of which had something to do with a maze) while the half of the nappers reported not recalling any dreams.

Those that recalled their dreams were then able to complete the maze in half the time as those who did not nap and of those who did not remember their dreams.

The interesting thing is that none of the dreams that were remembered described a direct strategy for being able to master the maze. One person said he dreamed about seeing people along checkpoints in the maze and remembering a bat cave he had once toured. Another dreamed of searching for something in a maze. Someone else dreamed about the music that played along with the task.

The lesson may be that dreams don't necessarily have to make sense or be obvious to the awake mind to have a benefit in waking life.

"It might be that sleep is the time when the brain is tuned to find those types of association you wouldn't notice during waking," Dr. Stickgold said. "It's not that the dreams make no sense. They make wacky sense. If you're a student and you want to do better on the test, you might need to dream about it. The question is, 'How do I get myself to dream about it?' The answer is to get excited about it. That seems to be what you dream about."

What this study seems to imply is the sheer act of dream recall provided the dreaming participants a tremendous advantage as compared to those who didn't sleep, or didn't maintain a connection with their dream state.

"This study suggests that struggling with a task might be the trigger that prompts the sleeping brain to focus on the subject and work on getting better," explained the lead author, Robert Stickgold, a cognitive neuroscientist at Harvard Medical School.

I hope that this study hooks the attention of all of you "I don't have time to pay attention to my dreams" Type A personalities out there. Dream recall is not just for the airy-fairy, or artsy-fartsy types ... dream recall is for anyone who wants to up the ante of success and effectiveness in their lives, while (as an added bonus) raising your level of consciousness and intuition.

Then this begs the question, "How do I improve dream recall?" Don't worry my logic-based friend ... there will be a whole article dedicated to dream recall in this column...stay tuned!

What Do Our Recession-Themed Dreams Tell Us?

Even in the caveman days, people dreamed about what they were grappling with in their waking lives. While our Neanderthal brothers and sisters might have had visions of slobbering creatures chasing them out of their caves, today we may dream about economic issues, such as getting chased from our homes by a sinister lending institution.

Since the recession began, 8.5 million jobs have been lost, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports an unemployment rate of 9.5 percent in February 2011, (12.3 percent in my home state of California), and more than 2.9 million homes are in foreclosure. The writing is on the cave wall. This recession is causing more people than ever to toss and turn with nightmares that reflect financial insecurity. Take a client of mine, who had the following dream:
"There was a party taking place on my front lawn and inside my house with surly strangers. It was like a home invasion -- they were completely taking over. I elbowed my way through the crowd and into the house where more surly strangers were lounging on my couch, eating my food ... acting like they owned the place! I screamed for them to get out but they didn't hear me ... I felt invisible, powerless, and furious."

Deirdre Barrett, a clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School, recently talked to the "Los Angeles Times" about the recent uptick in recession-themed dreams. "We dream about what concerns us when we're awake," she tells the paper. "In bad times, that is likely to be about financial security." Other therapists, dream experts like me, leaders of dream groups, and those who monitor dream recording websites all concur.

Some of the scenarios that play out in many of these "recession dreams" include falling, being chased, having an empty wallet or a missing purse, teeth crumbling, someone kicking you out of your home or having a party in your home that you aren't invited to.

In dreams, your home represents your body, that which houses your basic sense of self. If you dream of domestic unsteadiness, be grateful for your dreams as they are doing the "inner house cleaning" you may not have the time nor the wherewithal to deal with in your waking life. Home (both as a symbol and as a reality) is part of our most primal aspect of self. It is where we go to feel safe, nurtured, fed and protected. Even if you don't see a foreclosure in your future, dreaming of a threat to your home can represent instability regarding your basic security, which, apparently, many of us are dreaming right now.

On the upside (yes, there is an upside), there are many studies that tell us, in spite of the unpleasant nature of these recession dreams, they are actually helping us to figure out solutions and supporting us to function at a higher level. This is why I always say, "There is no such thing as a bad dream." This phenomenon is called "sleepworking." One of the functions of sleepworking (and to nightmares in general) is to help us become better adapted to our environment.

According to Ann Veilleux, a therapist at Harmónia Madison Center for Psychotherapy, "A nightmare exposes things that perhaps you haven't expressed in your life--perhaps fears you didn't know you had," Veilleux said. "It's an outlet and also a way of learning about yourself."

Consider that recession nightmares serve two functions. They may be helping you rehearse for how you might handle a potential worst-case scenario. Or they are assisting you to vent limited beliefs, dysfunctional patterns, or traumas lodged deep in your psyche that no longer serve you. By working with these dreams (paying attention to them and acting on their advice), you might just glean the wisdom to avoid the disturbing scenario from happening in your waking life.

If you are one of the many people having recession dreams, ask yourself the following questions to understand what your dreams may be trying to tell you:

• Is there something I need to prepare for (an event, presentation, conversation, confrontation)?

• What preventative action should I take to position myself most advantageously regarding this situation (talk to a neighbor, research information about a class action lawsuit, redo the old resume, look for a new house)?

• What changes in my lifestyle am I being called to make (tapering down on frivolous spending, downsizing, moving to a new town)?

If you wake up in the middle of the night from one of these recession dreams/nightmares, write the dream down, make a to-do list of items you can do something concrete about the next day, and, finally, make a gratitude list.

Yes. You read that right.

If you fall asleep with a sense of gratitude for what you currently have-the blankets on your bed, a pen to write with, an ability to write, your ability to read, the electricity keeping you warm, even your ability to be grateful-the serotonin in your brain will begin to surge, which counterbalances the effects of stress hormone cortisol, which may be making you toss and turn, enabling you to get a more restful sleep...and hopefully more pleasant dreams.

If your recession dreams could speak, this is what they'd say, "Humans are in a constant state of change. Flow with it. Drop the baggage from your past that makes you too heavy to move quickly. Become related to the future that's beckoning you. Change is inevitable. Deal with it. Be grateful. If you can't beat 'em, you might as well join 'em...and enjoy the process."

If you do all this, you might reframe this recession from being a scary nightmare to being an exhilarating adventure. After all, a recession is really like a slingshot. You have to pull way back on the leather strap in order to send the pebble flying forward.

Monday, April 25, 2011

How to Feng Shui Your Way to Sweeter Dreams

If you desire to "sleep your way to success," you need to set yourself up for success by turning your dream zone into a dream sanctuary.

When you sleep you are in your most vulnerable, suggestible state of being. By preparing yourself (and your dream sanctuary) in the moments prior to sleep and upon awakening, you will discover one of the fastest ways to become a stronger dreamer, and in so doing, positively affect your waking.

Don't worry -- this can be done with just a few simple adjustments. As my friend Marie Diamond, the world famous feng shui expert says, "It is a whole lot easier to move furniture around than it is to change your mental programming."

According to the ancient Chinese system of feng shui, a dream sanctuary is one in which there is a harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy. It lures you in while evoking a peaceful-feeling tone of joyous well-being. In a dream sanctuary you feel nurtured, replenished and safe enough to let your guard down all the way, whether for a cat nap, a full-night's sleep or for passion beneath the sheets.

To create a dream sanctuary according to feng shui, you can use a variety of simple feng shui tips below as they relate to your five senses. To ensure a nourishing flow of energy, make sure your bed is in the commanding position in your room (an indirect view of the bedroom door from a reclining position where you sleep) and can easily be approached from both sides.

For a sense of safety and deep ease, ensure there isn't anything heavy hanging on the wall over your head or on the wall behind you while you sleep (i.e., a large mirror, framed piece of art or hanging plant).

To support a peaceful feeling of relaxation remove any electronic appliances like a TV, stereo, workout equipment or computers). If you must have them in the bedroom, then cover them with a swatch of attractive fabric or a room divider when not in use.

Your Sense of Sight:

• To promote balance, have bedside nightstands (tables) on each side of the bed.

• For a sense of calm and order, keep bedroom doors closed at night as well as the doors to an adjoining bathroom, closets and drawers.

• A warm, sensual environment is created by having dim lighting in the bedroom.

• Candles are a wonderful source of lighting; however, be sure to buy candles with no toxins.

• If possible use a dimmer switch to adjust the glow accordingly.

Use soothing colors to achieve a good feng shui balance in your bedroom. Many feng shui experts suggest that you use "skin colors" to achieve a feeling of peace and calm. (These colors range from pale white to rich chocolate brown ... whichever feels most soothing to you.)

Your Sense of Smell:

According to scientist, Boris Stuck, from University Hospital Mannheim in Germany, the quality of air in your bedroom is very important.

• To keep fresh air flowing in your dream sanctuary, open the windows and draw the shades during the day.

• If you are unable to open the windows, then get an air-purifier to keep the air fresh.

• Use essential oils and candles to create a pleasant scent in the air.

• Lavender or jasmine aromatherapy stimulates the mind/body connection to reduce stress levels, release positive energy, encourage healing and enhance sweet dreams.

Your Sense of Hearing:

• Allow white noise such as a fan or air purifier to block out jarring or distracting sounds.

• Ensure that if you listen to the radio or watch a television program, make sure that it is calming and empowering. The words you hear and the sounds you take in as you drift off to sleep are very important.

• In other words, don't fall asleep with the television on; the abrupt sounds such as slamming doors, sirens, or even the dialogue will disrupt you from having the most restful sleep possible.

Your Sense of Touch:

• For a secure feeling as you sleep make sure your bed has a good mattress, with solid headboard and high quality sheets from natural fibers that feel soft, fuzzy, or silky to your skin.

• For maximum comfort, adjust the temperature in the room (with additional blankets if it tends to be chilly or a fan if it tends to be cool) to make sure the air is just right for you.

(This one has nothing to do with feng shui ... but we can't leave your taste buds out of the equation, can we?)

• Make sure to brush your teeth before bedtime and use mouthwash to keep your breath as fresh as possible as you sleep ... especially after a midnight snack.

Your Sense of Taste:

• To quench your thirst in the middle of the night, make sure to have a glass of water by your bedside.

• Stay away from drinking fruit juice in the middle of the night, as the sugar creates an unpleasant aftertaste; that, of course, will affect your dreams.