I'll Have What I'm Having!

I was recently interviewed for the second time by the amazing Sage Knight, who writes the "Living Well" column for the Topanga Messenger. Instead of talking "dreams" like we did in the previous article, we spoke about "Human Design." 

Human Design doesn't relate as much to nighttime dreams as it relates to the realm of daytime desires. In Human Design, as you will discover in this article you get a user's manual for yourself...which I have found to be one of my greatest tools that I use both personally and professionally.

I believe that if we can "see" ourselves (the one of a kind creatures we are), its easier to "be" ourselves...and eventually truly LOVE ourselves. Once this occurs, we can start loving the one we're with (which is always ourselves), stop coveting what everyone else has (or seems to has), and instead of always saying "I'll have what she's having," we'll start saying, "I'll have what I'M having!"  

Enjoy Sage's article...Happy reading!

Life is good and you are meant to enjoy it. You are designed to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, fulfilled, on purpose, and also to have a deep understanding of how to relate with others.

Problem is, most people don’t know their innate design. They try to fit in, to do what others tell them will make them happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. But what works for someone else may not work for you; we are all different. The good news is that your blueprint for success is within you and you can access it.

Human Design (HD), a system which combines astrology, the I Ching, the chakra system, and the Kabbalah can give you a “map to the nature of your being.” The system uses your birth place and time to generate a “bodygraph,” a map of energy centers similar to chakras, or the organ centers in Chinese medicine. Each center represents an area of being: the heart center represents willpower, the solar plexus, feeling, etc. 

The centers are each either “defined” or “open” and are either connected to each other or not. These two qualities determine whether you bring a particular energy into a situation or relationship or are more easily influenced by others who do. For example, my throat is defined and is also connected to my mental awareness center, which is also defined. So, I can usually access inspired ideas and express them with ease. Hence, my career as an inspirational writer, speaker and coach. I am designed for what I do. 

It is equally valuable to know what you are not designed to do. This frees up energy for your areas of talent and effectiveness. HD helps with that too. There are five different HD configuration types, and each has a “life strategy” that incorporates that type’s strong points. I am a Projector. By design, the Projector’s “life strategy” is to “wait to be invited.” This explains why I don’t like marketing; Projectors don’t hard sell. We drop hankies, letting folks know we are here. I enjoy selling as long as someone shows up ready to buy and simply needs help with my service, but I don’t like trying to get anyone to buy. Luckily, I don’t have to. I can follow my design and still generate business. And I have.

I received my first editing assignment when a bestselling author recognized my talent and hired me on the spot. I had no idea I was an editor even though I’d been doing it for several years. I’d simply sent her an article and then edited it at her request. I booked another client in a similar way. While meeting with my midwife to get a document signed, I handed her my business card. She said, “You’re a literary midwife? Perfect. I knew I’d meet the editor of my book on this trip, and I knew she would be a former client.” I hadn’t seen her in years and didn’t even know she had a book. She signed and referred a friend. Most of my work comes this way. I drop a hankie. 

Human Design helps with personal relationships as well. I learned that I am the only one in my family with both the heart and solar plexus centers defined and connected. This explained two things: 

First, I am an emotional force of nature — without knowing it. I impact the room, so I can light it up like the sun or bulldoze innocent bystanders, depending on my mood. This can be great for a speaker. For a mom too, as long as I remain mindful of the emotional power I carry and give everyone space when I’m not in happy-camper mode.

Second, the connection between these two centers explains why I look out for everyone in my tribe — and expect them to do the same. To my surprise, not everyone has innate loyalty. Some do, some don’t. It’s not personal. They might not have that connecting line. Those of us who do have it need to clearly communicate our needs, instead of expecting others to know.

Bottom line: everyone is designed uniquely. Like stars fallen to earth, we shine in different colors. You can be who you are. In fact, that is the easiest route to success and joy. You don’t have to do things you’re told should work if they don’t work for you; you can find a way that does. It helps to know your inner design, so you can follow your own “life strategy.”

I want the best skill set available, and Human Design gave me key components. I received my chart and professional interpretation from certified Human Design Analyst Kelly Sullivan Walden whom I highly recommend. She is intuitive, brilliant, and an absolute delight. One of her clients says she is “better than chocolate!” See for yourself. 

Living By Human Design

“SEE Yourself, BE Yourself, LOVE Yourself.” — Kelly Sullivan Walden

The Five Human Design Types:

1. Manifestor — initiates and communicates action.

2. Generator — gets a yes or no by gut feeling; waits to respond.

3. Manifesting Generator — combines above two; must stay open to revising their plan.

4. Projector — waits to be invited.

5. Reflector — all centers “open”; knows self through experiences with others.

To receive your “personal instruction manual for your life,” click HERE! 

Blind Spots: Can our Dreams Help Us See What Our Conscious Mind Can’t?

I recently had a dream Robin Williams was a lion tamer on trial for using unconventional methods for keeping his lions in check. He was dressed in Lion Tamer regalia—riding pants, a safari hat, tall black boots, a kaki long sleeved shirt, and a whip. The action of the dream took place in court. The lion tamer was quickly losing the case; the judge and jurors were against him. As a last minute Hail Mary, the lion tamer bolted out of his chair, raised the left hand in the air, his whip pointed toward the heavens, and began chanting at the top of his lungs, “LULLABALLAHABLALALA!!!”


The court was dumfounded, enraptured, hypnotized, and mesmerized. Apparently the same tactic that works with lions works with humans. The spellbound court was now under the lion tamer’s command, and they proclaimed him innocent. The Dream ended with Robin Williams, the unconventional lion tamer, walking out of court with his head held high, smiling, and breathing in his victory and freedom.

***

When I pay attention, my dreams are either a commentary on what took place the night before, or is a preview of coming attractions to prepare me for the day ahead. In this case I believe it was the latter.

The next day I went to see a matinee of Life in a Day with my husband, Dana, and our friend, Ron. The movie brilliantly tells the true story of 6 billion people, in 190 countries, in one 24-hour period. At the movies conclusion, as the credits are running, and tears are running down my face, Ron turns to me and says, “You’re a trip to watch a movie with!”

Perplexed, I tilted my head, crinkled my brow and innocently asked, “What do you mean?”

He guffawed and replied, “You are more vocal than the movie. Next time I’ll just watch you instead! Its like you are part of the action.”

Dana chimed in with an, “I told you so” look on his face. “Kelly, I’ve been telling you, but you don’t listen…and it’s getting worse.”

I apologize to Dana and Ron, feeling hit by a 2x4 across the forehead, “I had no idea.”

“But,” I sheepishly try to defend myself, “Aren’t my sounds natural—what everyone is feeling/thinking/doing—given the circumstances in the movie. I mean, come on, the guy cracks an egg and there’s a live chick inside, and he eats it! Didn’t everyone scream?”

“No,” they shake their heads in unison.


“You mean to tell me I was the only one in the movie theatre making any noise?”


They nod in unison.


The penny drops, the 2x4 strikes again…this time to my gut. I feel dizzy, like I might lose my cookies. For days I’m self-conscious everywhere I go. In every conversation, I’m monitoring my reactivity, my vocal “Ums and Ahs”. What other blind spots do I have that I didn’t know about? Am I a freak that has been roaming the earth for years with two heads, and I’m just finding out about it? I feel like I’m on trial, and I am guilty as charged.

Ooooooo…just the dream from the night before. What might the lion tamer on trial have to do with this blind spot revelation? Hmmmmm.

I breathe—something I hadn’t been doing much of during this credit rolling conversation—feel the slight awe of the beginnings of an aha moment.


Astrologically speaking, I am a Leo (the lion). According to astrologers, I am very Leo-esque (loud, roaring, flamboyant, filling up the space with warmth, holding court.)

I believe every character in our dreams is an aspect of ourselves, which makes Robin Williams, my inner comedian, the tamer of my out of control Leonine wildness by using shock to get my attention.

That same shocking abruptness can silence my inner critic(s) that judged me and might, if left to their own devices, label me as guilty, put me in jail and throw away the key.

Perhaps dream work, itself, is an unconventional method for self-realization (a.k.a. lion taming.)

The feeling of freedom Robin Williams had as he left the courthouse is what I choose fixate on. He overcame condemnation and emerged victorious. Instead of beating myself up, maybe I can choose to feel grateful that the universe and everything within it is, in deed, conspiring on behalf of my (our) greatest good, to get me (us) to wake up.

Carolyn Myss says the purpose of our lives is to become responsible for our power. Most of us have no idea that we are, in fact, powerful, much less have a clue how much power we actually have. We roam the earth feeling disenfranchised, powerless, and small. When in fact we are great beings that are a great deal of directorial input into how our lives can go.

Perhaps, most of our power is hovering in the shadows of our blind spots, and thus is being used unconsciously. Like the dog walking the person, instead of the other way around.

When you take one step toward the Dream Maker, she will take ten steps toward you. Envision a host of supernatural support that is hovering around you, chomping at the bit to lend assistance...yet giving you the respect of choosing their vast support.

We humans are power hungry…always chasing power in one way or another. Ok, you may not think of it as power, but it is. Perhaps the power you chase is in the guise of money, fame, security, health, vitality, youth, or love. What if it was the other way around? What if our power is actually chasing us? What if our power was stalking us through our dreamtime, lurking in our blind spots to be found out and thus integrated into the light of our being?

Ah, there in lies the rub. When a blind spot dares to reveal itself to us, our first reaction is the Cleopatra’s domain: DENIAL:


“Who, me? I couldn’t possibly have been the only one screaming, laughing, and talking to the screen during the movie?”


Or


“Who me? I couldn’t possibly be powerful. I’m just little ‘ol me.”


Next comes our dear friend ANGER:


“How dare you catch me with my hand in the cookie jar! There must be something really wrong with YOU! I’m fine; it’s YOU that has the problem!”


Or


“How dare you accuse me of actually being powerful! Can’t you see I’m the victim of my circumstances????”


The next in line is SHAME:


“Wow, I really must be bad, wrong, and broken to the core. Perhaps I should do everyone a favor and stop taking up precious breath.”


Or


“I can’t believe I’ve lived a power-less life for so long…at my own hands!”


This feels so bad that we think we may be at the end of our rope…so out of self-preservation, we cycle back to DENIAL and try to distract ourselves or numb out and forget the whole thing ever happened. And, thus, our precious power stays neatly tucked in the closet.


This might have happened to me, were it not for my lion tamer dream. As I sit here today, admittedly I still feel a little raw around the space where the blind spot used to reside, but for the most part, I feel grateful for the awareness. I am actually even excited about the opportunity to excavate other blind spots, with the help of my dreams to soften the blow, and help me discover elements of my “power” that have been heretofore hidden.


So, if you see me in the theatre sitting with you the next time you go to the movies, enjoy the film, because I’m going to keep my vocal acrobatics on the inside, where they belong. However…as yet, I can’t promise what will happen outside the movie theatre…so bring your earplugs just in case.

What Dreams, Oprah, Money, & Our Indigenous Ancestors Have In Common

Have you dreamed about losing your purse, credit card, or wallet lately?  According to FOX Business many people are having these dreams. As I say often, "Our dreams are our allies." Wouldn't you rather dream of losing your wallet and wake up feeling relieved that it was only a dream, than to have to process that nightmare in real life? I would.

I just overheard an interview with Oprah Winfrey where she adamantly says the exact opposite. She said she would rather work her drama in real life so that she can have a pleasant night's rest.

Actually, our indigenous grandmothers and grandfathers would probably agree with the former queen of daytime. Many dreaming tribes believed the purpose of our activities in our waking lives were to assist us in becoming strong dreamers.  For example, if there was a conflict, they would work it out before sleeping on it (if possible); they wouldn't eat a heavy meal before bedtime because it would interfere with the dreamtime; and they would work hard enough during the day to be able to enjoy their rest.  If they overworked or underworked that would have an adverse affect on their dreaming.

I, personally, take a both/and perspective. Why not work out the drama head on wherever and however it comes in. I do my darndest (I say darndest when I feel the nearness of my beloved Grandpa Bishop--Hi Grandpa!) to look for the gift whenever there is a challenge. And I mostly find the blessing rather quickly...which accounts for a relative peacefullness by day and by night.

Here's a sneak preview of my recent interview with FOX Business.com...I hope it gives you a bit of insight about your $$$ related dreams:

If your dreams include losing your credit card, falling and never hitting bottom or getting lost in a forest, experts say these nocturnal adventures may actually be a window into your financial stability, future and decision making.


Kelly Sullivan Walden, a hypno therapist, dream coach and author of "I Had the Strangest Dream ... the Dreamer's Dictionary for the 21stCentury," says the increased financial strain of the past few years have led to an increase of money-related dreams.


When two worlds collide

Walden says since money is a very real and central aspect of your life, it's no wonder you dream about having it, getting it, losing it or hoarding it.

"This may be a reflection of what is literally playing out in your real life. Or, because dreams are clever, it could be an indicator of something a little less obvious," says Walden.

Read more: http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2011/04/21/money-problems-dreams/